Pillow Talk: Opening Up About Doing The Dirty

It’s about time men and women start getting more comfortable talking about sex.

I’m not referring to asking one another if having sex is a viable option at any given moment. What I’m referring to is beginning a conversation about what magic you wish would occur in the sheets.

You may think you do this already, but most of the population does not. At least 90 percent of the people I know have a hard time explaining to their partners what makes them feel good in bed. It’s a shame and it needs to stop.

It’s not really people’s faults, however. Society has created what I liked to call fantasy shaming – the conception that only traditional ways of having sex are approachable and approved. Anything outside of the “traditional” way of having sex are not spoken about and shunned.

Fantasy shaming has created a shield around us, forcing us to block out anything different or out of the norm. Instead of educating ourselves and becoming more aware of contrasting views, we simply stay inside this shield and hold back – even if what we’re holding back may be something we question and want to know more about.

I’m not singling out any one way of thinking. What I’m doing is opening up the floor to all types of thinking. Passing the mic and forcing people to talk about the things our world has shamed us into never talking about.

Every other week I will talk about a different topic that expands the male and female mind when it comes to the wonderful world of sex.

At the root of it all, this is a sex column. But I want it to go a little beyond that. I don’t want to give you advice on what you should be doing in bed or what I would do in a similar situation. I want to educate you and talk about topics that both you and I have never breached before.

I want to get the ball rolling, rev up controversial conversations and I want us all to open the fuck up about doing the dirty.


Pillow Talk is a bi-weekly sex column that crosses the line. If you have any questions that you wish you could ask about sex but your mother raised you better, ask me. I’ll find you the experts who can answer.